spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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