i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
