I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
