you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
