i think i have two assholes
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Oh god it's open bar.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
