Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize