His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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