theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize