Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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