Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
