I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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