if you like me you must not know who I am
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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