Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
