I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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