k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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