I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
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She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i think i just lost a toe
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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