Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
