I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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