I'm so fucking centered right now
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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