:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
