i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
