Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
