I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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