She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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