My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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