I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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