We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
