i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Be still, my beating vagina.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
