I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm at about main and main street
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
