those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
