You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
