I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
