walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
