He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
May the power of my ass compel you!!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
