just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
