I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
