Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
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I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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