Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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