He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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