Got a toothbrush?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
