I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
