it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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