I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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