Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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