I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
