haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
