So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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