Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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