You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
two words...techno handjob
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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