Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
His hands were made for my vagina.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Randomize
