He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
