Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Randomize
