Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
