In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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