Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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