I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
