After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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