do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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