Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
