doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Your penis caused this!
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