I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize